Dave’s Ramblings – Aston Villa
You often hear pundits banging on about a “must-win game.” This match absolutely fell into that category. A loss would have seen Villa move nine points clear of us in the race for Champions League football, with the remaining fixtures disappearing faster than biscuits in a staff room.
So naturally, within seconds of kick-off, Malo Gusto decided to generously present Aston Villa with a gift. Not a small gift either, more like one of those enormous Christmas hampers you used to see on The Price Is Right. At that moment I began to wonder whether our players understood the importance of the match… or if they’d accidentally wandered into the wrong stadium.
Thankfully that early moment of generosity didn’t cost us. But just as I was lowering my blood pressure back to mildly concerned, Villa scored anyway. Douglas Luiz cheekily flicked the ball past Jörgensen to open the scoring.
Less than three minutes gone…
At this point I was already mentally redecorating the trophy cabinet to make space for the Conference League. I’d convinced myself it’s actually a very prestigious competition. Historic, even. Probably harder to win than the Champions League if you really think about it.
Oh me of little faith.
The best way of describing this match is to say it felt like a cup tie. The sort where both teams completely abandon the concept of defending and just take turns charging at each other like two Labradors chasing the same tennis ball.
It was proper end to end chaos. Chances everywhere. Their keeper pulling off two very smart saves, the kind where you momentarily think, fair play… before remembering you’re absolutely not supposed to like him. Meanwhile, from where I was sitting, we were also denied what looked like the most obvious penalty since someone first invented the phrase “stonewall.” I’ve seen softer decisions given for someone breathing too aggressively in the box.
Eventually, on 35 minutes, football restored a tiny bit of justice. Gusto redeemed himself for his earlier attempted generous donation to Villa by putting a ball across the box that João Pedro happily tapped in to put us all square.
Game very firmly on.
We were well on top at this point, which in football usually means you’re approximately 30 seconds away from doing something completely ridiculous to undo all your good work.
Right on cue, Reece James produced a pass that can only be described as a generous charitable donation to Villa. Suddenly they were breaking forward and Watkins was through. He tucked the ball past Jörgensen while our defence did their best impression of spectators at Wimbledon, just turning their heads and watching it go by.
Fortunately for us, VAR came to the rescue. After review, Watkins was ruled offside. Crisis averted, collective heart rates slowly returned to normal.
Villa fans were already fuming at VAR… but it was about to get worse. Much worse.
In first-half injury time Enzo produced a lovely little pass that found João, who calmly lifted the ball over Martínez with the sort of composure you usually only see from someone casually dropping rubbish into a bin from two feet away.
The best part? João was onside.
So after spending half the half hating VAR, Villa fans got to enjoy a bonus round of hating it even more as the goal stood. Meanwhile we skipped into the half-time break ahead, feeling delighted, slightly smug, and pretending we’d been completely confident the whole time.
The second half picked up exactly where the first had left off, with Chelsea firmly in control and Villa looking like a team who’d accidentally walked into the wrong exam and decided to just guess every answer.
Villa had started the game like top four contenders. By this point they looked more like a group of lads who’d just met in the car park five minutes before kick-off.
Ten minutes after the break Cole Palmer struck, calmly doing the sort of thing he makes look so easy it almost feels unfair. Then João completed his thoroughly deserved hat-trick after Alejandro Garnacho produced a wonderfully selfless pass. The footballing equivalent of sliding the last slice of pizza to your mate instead of eating it yourself.
At that point the scoreboard was starting to look more than a little uncomfortable for Villa fans and you could understand their frustration. Watching your team get battered with a third of the game still to play is not exactly a relaxing activity.
What was more surprising, though, was the number of Villa fans who immediately started heading for the exits. It really did look like that proverbial fire drill was taking place.
Football, much like life, is easy when everything is going well. The real test is how you react when things start going wrong. On that front, judging by the speed some of them were heading for the car park, Villa might have a few character-building exercises to work on.
My takeaways…
So in the end it turned out to be a fairly comfortable win, which just goes to show what can happen when a few things actually go your way for once. It’s amazing how much easier football looks when the ball occasionally bounces in your favour instead of ricocheting off three shins and landing perfectly for the opposition.
There were plenty of strong performances across the pitch, but Alejandro Garnacho particularly caught my eye. Yes, he probably could, and definitely should, have scored at least once. Possibly twice. Maybe even three times if we’re being greedy.
But what he did bring was pace and a willingness to actually run at defenders, which is something we’ve been missing for quite a while. Watching him take players on was refreshing, like suddenly remembering that dribbling past people is, in fact, allowed and not something that results in an automatic fine from the manager.
If nothing else, he kept their defenders busy, nervous, and probably slightly dizzy. And sometimes that’s half the battle.
**
Not so long ago I found myself wondering what João Pedro’s actual role in the team was. Not in a tactical sense either, more in a is he a striker, a midfielder, a false nine, or just a very talented bloke wandering about the pitch? kind of way.
But since the arrival of Liam Rosenior he suddenly looks like the signing of the season. The transformation has been remarkable. It’s like someone found the unlock full potential button and decided to press it repeatedly.
I don’t know what Liam has done exactly. Maybe it’s tactical genius. Maybe it’s just coincidence. Maybe he just sat João down and said, “You know you’re actually really good at football, right?”
Long may this new and improved João Pedro continue because if this version sticks around, defenders across the league might want to start updating their life insurance.
**
Villa Park is an amazing old ground. Proper history, proper atmosphere… but it does have one rule that I simply cannot wrap my head around.
If you’re sitting in the lower tier, it’s fill your boots. Pints everywhere. Beer flowing like a Bavarian festival. Everyone happy.
But if you’re in the upper tier? Absolutely not. No beer for you. Apparently the extra 200 feet of altitude turns you into some sort of uncontrollable lunatic. It’s blatant beer discrimination and frankly it needs to stop before other clubs start getting ideas.
“You’re in row Z, sir. That’s too high for lager. Might I interest you in a cup of disappointment instead?”
Speaking of drinks, you can buy a hot one. And when I say hot, I mean it’s been prepared using what I can only assume is molten lava straight from the Earth’s core. Buy a tea before kick-off and it should cool to a drinkable temperature sometime around next Thursday.
Honestly, just give us a beer and stop being silly.
Anyway, the league now takes a little break for ten days while we head off on our travels. Two wins abroad and it will be ten very happy days indeed. Assuming, of course, that we can find somewhere that allows beer at slightly elevated altitudes. 🍻
Photos of the game can be found by clicking here.
Onwards and upwards UTC 💙
