Dave’s Ramblings – Ajax
Chelsea 5–1 Ajax: Scrubbing up nicely in Europe
Qualifying for Europe’s premier competition, you’d hope to be facing the crème de la crème of continental football. Instead, we ended up against Ajax – better known for cleaning your oven than challenging for the Champions League. What’s next? Domestos United? Persil Town? Someone get me the line-up sheet – I’m half expecting the manager to be Mr Muscle and the keeper to be called Flash.
Seventeen minutes in and what a shocker – a red card! But wait… it wasn’t us for once! That alone felt like a collector’s item. The dismissal came early, and for once, we actually made the most of it. A free-kick, a bit of chaos, and young Marc Guiu slotted home to become our youngest ever Champions League scorer. Lovely moment… for about 33 minutes, until someone even younger came along and nicked the record. Cruel game.
Ajax’s manager – definitely not Mr Muscle or Mr Sheen -responded by hauling off a player to bring on a defender. Cue a chorus of Dutch booing and what I can only assume was “You don’t know what you’re doing!” in Amsterdam-accented karaoke.
A few minutes later, up popped Caicedo with a long-range strike to make it 2–0, and it looked like Ajax were in for a deep clean they wouldn’t forget.
But of course, this is Chelsea, so naturally we decided to liven things up by gifting them a penalty. Weghorst – yes, that Weghorst, formerly of Burnley and Manchester United, made it 2–1.
And then, in true Chelsea fashion, things got properly unhinged. Ajax, apparently bored of only having one red card, decided to start giving away penalties like samples at a supermarket. Enzo buried the first one just before half-time, then Estêvão got fouled in added time and slotted home another. The half ended 4–1, and just like that, Guiu’s “youngest scorer” record was already wiped clean – straight in the bin with Ajax’s defensive plan.
The second half began with a flurry of substitutions – for good reasons for once. One of them, Tyrique George, immediately made it 5–1. At that point, even the Ajax players looked like they’d mentally clocked out and gone to tidy the dressing room.
Alongside the scoreline, Chelsea started breaking records like plates at a Greek wedding: ten players aged 21 or younger featured, three teenagers scored, and we somehow extended our run of not using a single player over 30 since the beginning of last season. It’s basically a youth club with better kits.
Let’s not get too carried away, though. This wasn’t the Ajax of Cruyff and glory – this was Ajax on their third straight European defeat, more sponge than steel. There are tougher nights ahead, no doubt.
But for now, we can bask in the gleam of a 5–1 win, fresh legs, clean sheets (well, almost), and a team that – for once – looked like they’d rinsed and repeated properly.
The long and short of it? We didn’t just beat Ajax. We wiped the floor with them.
And to the Ajax fans, one final message: This is Chelsea… and that’s Lifebuoy.
Dave M
(you certainly ‘cleaned up’ with that report Dave! – Ed) 🙂
‘Chelsea Supporters Group’ can also be found on X and Facebook and Bluesky
